adulting

And… Pivot

Hey y’all,

It’s been awhile! So sorry for the long hiatus between posts. When I revamped this blog the last time (lol), I decided that I wanted to create weekly content to share with everyone. Not only was this the right decision in terms of consistency, but also more selfishly it was the right reason because:

  1. I needed to practice being vulnerable and authentic in front of other people,
  2. I needed to practice my communication and word choice, and
  3. I needed to take responsibility for filling my own love tank. While sharing myself– as well as my thoughts, feelings, and ideas– with other people is my love language, it’s my responsibility to give myself love.

Sorry that I fell short here. I have just added a part-time job over the summer as well as another part-time job that will be more long-term. In addition, I have been trying to honor my commitments to play gigs with heavy time commitments that I signed up for back when I was only working 15 hours per week, and trying not to die and/or kill someone as a result of suddenly being completely overextended and overbooked.

But, oh well. It’s all worth it! My finances are now in tip-top shape, and I no longer spend any time whatsoever ruminating about them. If that doesn’t give me the incentive to keep going, I don’t know what will.

Now, if only I could manage to adjust my body clock to fall asleep at 10 pm and wake up at 5 am, instead of falling asleep at 11 pm and waking up at 6 am, then I would really be golden. Unfortunately, this hasn’t happened yet and I’ve been 15 min late to work pretty much every day that I go. (Side note: I am pleasantly surprised by the number of people who have been understanding about this problem and have given me grace about it. So far, only a couple of people have not understood and have drawn the incorrect conclusion that me being late means that I don’t want to be there / I’m not serious / I’m not a good employee).

Anyway, I finally had an evening off where I wasn’t expected to do anything or be anywhere, so I figured I would post an update about how everything is going.

To summarize, I have been working to adjust my self-care priorities to accommodate the tighter schedule. It’s been quite a challenge, but I think once I get my sleep cycle on track then it will be a lot smoother/better.

One thing I have been thinking about lately is how to have more fun in my life. It occurred to me that I’ve changed myself so much that I don’t even know what I consider to be fun anymore. There are things that I used to think were fun, but I don’t really think they’re fun anymore. I’ve been trying to find out which fun things from my past to bring back, versus which ones to leave behind and replace with new fun things (whatever they might be).

Today it occurred to me that the main reason that I don’t know how to have fun anymore is because I am constantly preoccupied with administrative tasks and adulting responsibilities. The reason I discovered this today was because I finally caught myself up on this huge mountain of paperwork and mail that I had been behind on, and then after it was done I had all this free time that I didn’t know what to do with at first. This lasted only a short time. Then I actually practiced my viola more than playing through my warm-up exercises. Then I read a book for an hour that I had been behind on reading. Then I took a walk and got a massage! So good. I really enjoyed that.

On top of all that, I have been slowly revamping my website towards my new business of teaching online courses, and have updated my bio here. I’ve been planning my outlines and syllabuses for the different courses and have started working on course writing and creation. I’m really excited about this new venture and I will share more details soon! I’m hoping to devote more time towards the course creation and filming this summer once my teaching is done in a couple of weeks.

So that’s it! That is the update in a nutshell. I’m really excited for all these changes coming – just need the time to work and prioritize and enjoy it 🙂

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The Six Main Self-Care Areas for Adults

If you’re like most adults, you struggle greatly with finding balance and meaning in your life. You might be asking yourself, “Who am I, really? What is my purpose in life? How can I serve and give back to others? How am I supposed to accomplish my life’s purpose at the same time as working a full-time job, managing my home, maintaining good relationships, and taking care of myself?”

Sound familiar?

Unfortunately, the majority of us were not taught how to balance our lives in school, nor were we taught how to create a meaningful life, legacy, and impact for ourselves. That being said, don’t let this deter you! Regardless of what age you are, there is always a chance to start fresh and change your life in a positive direction in order to produce the best results possible. All it takes is some prioritization, focus, determination, and diligence, and balance will be yours. As long as you maintain an eagerness to learn and a willingness to change your mindset, then the world will truly be your oyster.

So what is the best way to get started? There is a lot that goes into balancing your life, as well as many questions to ask. “How much time should I spend working? How do I build my financial empire? How often should I cook and clean? How often should I go to the gym? How often should I see my friends and family? How often should I work on my to-do list? How do I make good decisions? How do I manage and prevent crises? How often should I take a break, relax, and de-stress?”

Those are just the questions that apply to your life in the moment. There are also larger-scale questions to think about, such as, “how much time should I spend thinking about life in the moment vs life in the big picture? How do I achieve my goals in life at the same time as taking care of myself properly? When is it appropriate to be selfless and when it is it appropriate to be selfish? How much of my time should be spent trying to excel in this life, vs how much should be spent preparing for the next life (in a spiritual sense)?”

If a there’s a lot that goes into balancing your life, and there’s a lot of questions to ask, where do we even begin? How do we even begin to tackle this complicated problem?

To start with, I will share with you the six main self-care areas for adults. In order to achieve balance in your life, you must master the following areas:

  1. Self-Care. If it is your goal to serve and give back to others in life, then you must first be able to serve and give back to yourself. Take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually, and see your ability to help others soar. Self-care is the foundation for living a lengthy, prosperous, and vivacious life.
  2. Mindset and Attitude. If you would like to maintain healthy relationships with others, you again must first start with yourself. Cultivate an abundance mindset of selflessness, patience, grace, empathy, and forgiveness (after all, isn’t this the attitude that you would like others to take when they relate to you?). Take the time to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses as a person and work to improve yourself as needed.
  3. Much of our stress in life comes from unhealthy, toxic relationships. Become a master of good conflict resolution, boundaries and standards, expectations, laws, and rules of society in order to maintain good relationships with others. Be prepared to snip or limit the time you spend with others if necessary.
  4. Learn how to make better decisions in your life that will achieve the optimal result. Employ critical thinking skills (what a lifesaver!) to navigate personal and professional issues. Learn how to prevent crises from happening in your life and how to mitigate them once they do.
  5. Time Management. Much of our stress in life comes from poor time management skills. Take back control of your time, instead of having your time control you. Organize your schedule, to-do list, goals, thoughts, and mind. Streamline for better efficiency and set realistic goals for easing yourself into your schedule. Allow time for planning and reflecting in order to improve your system.
  6. In addition to better managing your relationships and your time, you should also spend some time in self-discovery mode. Much of our stress in life comes from lack of alignment with ourselves in our lives. Spend some time determining who you are, what you stand for, what your purpose is, and what your goals and dreams are. Once you know all of this, just go do it! Seek full alignment with yourself and start today.

With a complete mastery in all of these areas, you will significantly manage and reduce the amount of stress you feel in your life. Not only that, but you will be on track to achieve greatness in your life and you will be able to set out to help others. There is no better balance than being relaxed, healthy, happy, and set on a vision!

Welcome to ‘Find Your Balance’!

Do you feel like you are completely and utterly overwhelmed by all of life’s demands? Do you find that you are stressed out beyond belief trying to take proper care of yourself, at the same time as managing your to-do list, at the same time as working full time? Do you find yourself truly unable to cram everything into a twenty-four hour day and instead wish that you had thirty hours in the day (or maybe a personal chef, maid, and assistant to take care of the chores)? Do you find yourself continually resentful of the people closest to you, having fight after fight with them that never gets resolved, and then ruminating about the problems for months afterward? Do you consistently find yourself in the midst of a crisis that you didn’t see coming, and then do you have to delegate hundreds of unpleasant hours afterward cleaning up your own mess? What if you do have a plan to set yourself up for success in all areas of life, but then find yourself not wanting to follow through on your own schedule and instead end up curling up on the couch, watching a romantic comedy, and shoving chocolate down your throat as you break down in panicked misery?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, this blog is for you!

Oftentimes, we feel overwhelmed by life because our lives are not in balance. Who can blame us? There’s so much that goes into taking care of ourselves properly and taking care of our responsibilities. From mental, physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual well-being, to working to pay our bills, to taking care of our homes, it is no wonder that we are overwhelmed by life. As if all that weren’t enough, we also need to maintain good relationships with our loved ones and be selfless, giving people. With all of that on our plate, how do we even have time to focus on our passions in life and work toward achieving our life’s purpose? How is it possible to find the balance between being productive in all areas of life and relaxing?

In my new blog, Find Your Balance, I will explore with you the idea of a balanced life. I will discuss the importance of self-care, mindset and attitude, maintaining good relationships, thinking, time management, and alignment. Before you know it, you will be a master of balance in your own life! To learn more about specific balancing tips in each area, read on to my next post, “The Six Main Self-Care Areas for Adults.”